A Mothers scent...

When I think of my mom, i can almost right away smell her in my mind. Whither through a warm hug, a cuddle, or just standing near her..i can smell that scent that i still remember from

when i was a little girl! Knowing she was close by and smelling her would help me sleep at night, make me feel special, it would relax me when i would feel worried or stressed. If i fell down and got hurt it was her that i could make me feel better and ofcourse her smell. It was a smell of safety and comfort and love. My moms smell is like no other smell in this world, and It still does all those things even now that im old and grown and have my own little girl.

As i struggled getting ellie down for her nap today, the thought came to me that instead of getting upset and frusterated with her for not going to sleep (after 2 hrs of crying), i realized all she needed was for me to hold her, for me to cuddle her and be close to her and help her to feel calm and reassured. Isnt that all we ever want in life anyways? And especially from our mom! When your sick, you want your mom, if something goes wrong and your feeling down, its that phone call or visit with mom that makes everything thats bad go away. Theres so much peace that comes with mom.

As ellie finally fell asleep on the couch with me holding her in my arms.. i tried to sneak away. As she started to waken she grabbed a hold of the robe i was wearing over my clothes, i slowly took it off to leave with her..and she slept soundly with it next to her. It's moms scent that makes everything better... And ellie slept for 2 hours. =)

Mommyhood

Being A Mom is the best job in the world. If you were to ask me what im doing today i might tell you "nothing". but 'nothing' is really 'something' and that "nothing" takes up my entire day! Every minute of everyday my "nothing" day goes like this..

changing diapers, feeding, nursing, playing, teaching, attempting nap times, reading books, holding, cuddling, talking to, picking up after, wipping off sticky hands and face, bathing, trying to prevent outbursts or crying fits, and also calming down a baby who is having an outburst or a crying fit. running errands, cooking dinner and much much more uninteresting things. And theres my day of "nothing". Believe it or not, these days are the most fullfilling days ive ever had.

Before having a baby, id go to work, shop, and go out at nights till 3 am, weekends id sleep in till 11am and then take 3 hours to get ready (because i could!) Now going out is staying out till 8pm.(and thats pushing it) im lucky if i can sleepin past 7am, my shopping days are only to the grocery store.. and getting ready for my day is a 1 hour event (on a good day..and that is if i can get a shower in. unless its the weekends and zak is around to help.) Jealous of my life? you should be. I wouldnt change it for anything. i LOVE being a mom!

12 weeks and counting!

Pregnancy...

I Now have a Picc line in my arm..attached to I.V fluids..and a Zofran pump..Not fun at all, BUT surprisingly the piccline is waaay better then just a normal i.v in the hand or wrist! ( those were terrible)

My day in a Nutshell:

-Wake up every 2 hours at night to use the bathroom.. (zak gets up with me to push or pull my i.v pull bcuz im to do it weak by myself, hes the best!)

- Once morning comes..try to figure out if i should stay in my bed all day or try to move to the couch instead..tough choices right?

- Once im in the spot for the day..i watch t.v..go online..read baby books..or text. as well as calls from nurses, pharmacys, ect.

-literally not being able to eat anything or even drink water.
-vomiting..

- constantly using the bathroom..because of the huge bag of fluids im on 24/7

-Then, when the time is right go to bed. =) then wake up and do it all over again.

Im happy to say that The last couple days i started my doses of steroids,(really scary thought) and a bunch of other pills that go along with them to help control my nausea,and hopefully help me to start eating... ( which i hadnt been able to do. literally) And since these past few days, ive been able to start eating lil things here and there..BUT not normal stuff like crackers or sprite or even water. Stuff like this...

- Cheese puffs

-beef Jerky

-otter pops

-dried craisins

-strawberry gum

- piece of toast w cream cheese on it

And as of yesterday...

-2 krespy kreme doughnuts

-potato chips dipped in ranch dip

-1/2 a turkey sandwich

-And today...Some orange chicken from panda!!

....Think the steriods have kicked in yet?

Im totally going to get diabetes and gain a ton of unhealthy weight at this rate. Im just so relieved im able to eat a lil! I forgot what it was like. Im hoping hyperemises is starting to fade.. and eventually can be taken off the piccline and steroids in another month or so. we'll see!

Meanwhile, Zak has been My Rock! He takes care of all my i.v stuff, pills, sponge baths, getting me dressed, giving me massages, and trying to help me be as comfortable and happy as possible. Kudos to my wonderful husband!! xoxo

Pregnancy thus far..

We had our 3rd ultra sound.. and were finally able to hear and see our babys heartbeat!! The Dr. gave us a due date of July 16th, 2010! Above is the baby around 6 1/2 weeks. Soooo tiny!

The whole morning sickness kicked in for me real fast.. I lost 10 pounds in 1 week.. from vomit, lack of appetite ect.. A lil scary. We went to urgent care one night, only for them to tell me to "drink more" (we coulda figured that out!) But i couldnt bring myself to drink w/o it coming back up..and dont get me started on food.

My life-savor sister gave me some of her Zofran to try.. amazingly it has helped huge! I still cant eat during the day and still get really nauseated and puky.. but theres a huge relief of what it was before!

Zak has been incredible..waiting on my every move, making sure im comfortable, nightly massages, food runs, cooking, shopping, and cleaning! Hes been so busy and im sure under alot of stress having to handle everything himself.. but he never shows any signs of negativity, or annoyance. Hes always got a smile on his face and is so optimistic! Hes the best!!

Im thankful for modern medicine that allows me to relax a lil easier! Its miserable being this sick.. but im soo thankful for the miracle of life, and that god allowed this special gift to come into our care.. We are sooo grateful!

Our new lil addition!

Hi We're back on here.. We Got married 8 months ago..and just found out that were pregnant! We are Soooo excited and cant wait to be parents! Ill be due the end of June and were already thinkin of names! Were SO happy! =)